When I found out that I was pregnant at nineteen years old, the idea of infertility becoming an issue later in life never occurred to me. Not really, anyway. I never considered adoption, though, as I wasn’t sure that I’d ever get married, and I knew that one child out of wedlock was more than my mother was ready to handle as a grandmother.
I certainly never wanted children after the age of 30.
So here is it. 2015. I’m 32 years old, married, with a daughter who will be thirteen this summer. I’m also smack dab in the middle of a battle with infertility.
In September, my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS. He gave me some birth control pills and sent me on my merry way, telling me that after 3 months I needed to stop taking them and my body would begin to ovulate on its own. As it happens, that was false.
Over the next few months, I read more and more about PCOS and realized that it’s kind of a big deal. It can lead to things like diabetes, thyroid issues, not to mention infertility and everything else associated with a hormone imbalance. Oh, and depression and anxiety.
After a brief discussion, my husband and I decided to enlist the help of a fertility specialist. After about three billion tests (including one that involved a camera in a very private place and some anesthesia), we had a more clear picture of what we’re dealing with.
Last week we were given our results, which were not what we’d hoped for. While my uterus, tubes, and ovaries all look lovely, I’m not ovulating at all. I have more eggs than most 32 year old women, which sounds like a good thing but it turns out that it’s not a good thing at all. Not when you want a baby.
So now our only real option, as far as the specialist is concerned, is to proceed with IVF. As nice as that sounds, I don’t happen to have $20,000 laying around for something that has a 30% chance of failing. So my regular gynecologist has prescribed me some Chlomid, which is suppose to help women with PCOS ovulate. We’re going to give it until the end of summer and see if it works.
Sometimes, life feels like an uphill battle but eventually the hill has to peak and descend. I’m just ready for some easier climbs.